In grappling, at some point we all get faced with a roll that, for one reason or another, we are not interested in. Whether it be based on size differential, gender, or maybe they just stink (you know who you are, go wash your ass), there are bound to be rounds that you just don’t want, and that’s okay! It is your right as a sentient being (grappler) to decline a roll, especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable in any way. Here at Prograppler, we like lists. As such, I’ve made another list for you. Here are the top 6 ways to politely, and not-so-politely decline a roll.
6. The “Hydration Specialist” (Polite)
This is the classic. When the monster approaches, you simply gesture vaguely toward your gallon jug with a look of profound medical necessity.
Why it works: It’s hard to argue with biology. You aren’t ducking them, you’re just practicing “self-care.”
The Line: “I’d love to, man, but if I don’t drink 12 ounces of water in the next thirty seconds, my kidneys will literally shut down. Catch you next round?”
5. The “Vague Structural Integrity” Issue (Polite)
Perfect for when you see someone known for “flying” submissions. You don’t want to say you’re scared, but perhaps you want to say you’re fragile.
The Pro Tip: Always touch the joint gingerly as you say it. Bonus points if you winced three minutes ago for no reason to set the stage.
The Line: “My left [insert joint here] is ‘talking’ to me today. I’m sticking to the technical flow-rolls for the rest of the night.”
4. “My Wife Said No!” (The Strategic Shield)
This is the ultimate “get out of jail free” card. It is perfectly acceptable, and highly encouraged, to use your spouse as a human shield to avoid the gym’s local spaz.
Why it works: It shifts the “blame” to a higher authority that your opponent cannot argue with. You’re not the “coward”, you’re just a devoted, obedient husband.
The Line: “Look, I want to, but my wife specifically told me if I come home with another black eye or a ‘weird neck thing,’ I’m sleeping in the garage. She’s blacklisted you for my own safety.”
3. The “Weight Class Snob” (Bordering on Rude)
Reserved for the plus-sized practitioner who likes to use their 100lb weight advantage to crush your ribs for six minutes.
The Vibe: A subtle reminder that physics still exists, even if Helio said it didn’t.
The Line: “I’m actually training for a tournament in the masters 2 lightweight division, so I’m only rolling with people who don’t have their own gravitational pull today.”
2. The “Hygiene Inspector” (Rude)
Sometimes, honesty is the only way. If their gi looks like it’s been marinating in a swamp since the 90s, you have a moral obligation to be blunt.
The Result: You might lose a friend, but you’ll definitely avoid a staph infection. Win-win.
The Line: “I’m going to pass. I’m allergic to whatever ecosystem is currently developing on your lapel. Let me know when you discover laundry detergent.”
1. The “Eternal Belt Re-Tie” (Passive-Aggressive)
The gold standard of avoiding a round without ever saying a word.
The Finish: By the time you look up, the scary person has already found another victim. “Oh, man, did the round start? Shucks. Next time!”
The Move: As soon as the timer starts, sit down and untie your belt completely. Then, slowly—very slowly—smooth out your gi jacket. Re-fold it. Start the most intricate, double-knot belt-tying ceremony the world has ever seen.
At the end of the day, jiujitsu is a marathon, not a sprint and sometimes that marathon requires taking a tactical detour to the water fountain or hiding behind the iron-clad authority of a “no” from your spouse. Whether you’re protecting a lingering injury, preserving your dignity, or simply avoiding a localized biohazard in a crusty gi, knowing how to decline a roll is just as vital as knowing how to escape side control. Longevity on the mats is built on making smart choices, so never feel guilty about sitting one out, the mats will still be there tomorrow, and hopefully, that D1 wrestler will have found a different hobby by then.
